Hey, folks! Feels like I haven’t talked to you in ages! Might have something to do with this localized time-stretching effect I’ve been noticing in the vicinity of any computer with an in-progress final paper on its hard drive. (According to my research, the time-dilation field actually works in reverse in rooms were final exams are taking place. Curious.) Of course, the slowing of time is quite handy, since it allows you to fit what should be eight hours or so of writing into about half the time, and it always works out so that the paper is done mere