Our journey has to begin somewhere, and what more fitting place to begin than a character creation screen? Here’s our hero, Bogdan Yeromeyev.
He’s a member of… whatever organization this is that apparently enlists soldiers from every Allied nation on Earth. I’m guessing they’re basically the Monuments Men, except they’re trying to rescue alien ray guns instead of paintings.
Staunch turtleneck supporter and wearer of incredibly douchey sunglasses, Yeromeyev’s comrades have come to lovingly refer to him as Bogey. We won’t delve into his past for now (it’s shrouded in mysterious mystery or something!), and instead just talk about his skills. Bogey here is a medic; his intelligence is high, which means his skills’ll be developing faster than usual, but he’s squishy and not so great handling a firearm. So he mostly sits behind cover and patches up anyone who gets hurt. Not a bad deal, really.
In any case, let’s begin in medias res. It’s not like the game gives you any setup either.
So, kablams — the opening shot:
What a promising start! Our first mission and everyone is already dead. And what do you mean, “except you?” When you say it like that, I feel like you don’t appreciate me very much. Anyway, we’re gettin’ outta here, hoss.
But Commander Downerpants over here is having none of it.
“…in vain.” Geez. Come on, man. Always look on the bright side. You’ve got a medic right here! We’ll have you back on your feet in n–
Oh, we can’t heal him? We’ve got to take him back to base for story reasons? Alrighty. There’s a motorcycle right over there. We’ll be back home in n–
Damn it.
Of course, the colonel has some more complaining to do. Something about documents I guess we’re carrying and them being too important for heroics. Yeah, yeah. Alright, colonel. No heroics. Definitely.
Thankfully, the conversation ends abruptly after this, with our CO flopping over comically like a dead fish. I really wish you could see his falling-over animation, because it’s pure gold.
Also the only person both alive and conscious, but nevermind that. The one-liners must flow.
Alright, it’s time to put these coolguy glasses to good use. Where are those Germans at? They’re hard to spot through the trees, but a few steps to the right and we’ve got our first sighting.
Only a 19% chance to hit, though. Better to get into the trees and move in a bit closer.
They’re ready for that move. They get off a few shots and Bogey’s grazed on his way to cover, but he’ll be fine. More importantly, we’ve spotted another soldier even closer. He spots us, too, but Bogey’s already taken aim.
Our very first shot is a solid 32 damage. Way to go, Boges. The second misses but the third drops him. Not bad for a lowly medic. I suppose the 83% chance to hit probably helped, but I’m proud of him nonetheless.
Now to handle that other guy. One of the many awesome things you can do in this game is target these “ghosts,” which are the approximate locations of enemies — based on where you last saw them, or even just on the sounds they’ve made and your characters have heard through walls, on other floors, and that sort of stuff.
Bogey takes a couple blind shots into the trees before the Axis soldier pops out and returns fire. Once he’s visible, though, he’s no trouble. There’s a third one right behind him, who Bogey masterfully steamrolls over.
That’s it for those guys we saw in the cutscene. Let’s make a break for the motorcycle!
Whoa! You can barely see it, but there are bullet holes and fading smoke puffs all along that fence. A flurry of SMG rounds just flew over our head, and Bogey took at least one — I think in the leg. Poor guy.
They exchange fire for a couple rounds but it’s not going very well. We’re about to die on the first mission! Gotta duck down and heal up.
Then we can make quick work of this jerk.
We were taking some pistol fire from inside the building, too. Bogey takes no chances with that now that SMG Boy is out of the picture, lobbing bullets through the windows indiscriminately.
Looks like we got him. A little anticlimactic, but oh well. That’s five down and the coast seems to be clear. Better go back and pick up our CO. They probably wouldn’t be thrilled if we showed up back at the base without him.
What a nice guy; he’s waiting patiently in the clearing for our return.
Just gotta lug him all the way back up to the road… I hope those documents are worth it.
Vroom vroom. Next time we’ll find out, I guess. And maybe the next mission will have better results than this one. Fingers crossed!
On to the next episode!
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